Am I A Proper Wargamer?

Apologies for coming late to the party on this one, but we only got power back a few hours ago, 12 days after we were blacked out by Sandy.

Phil, over at The Wargaming Site, came up with a clever little quiz to determine whether or not one is a “Proper Wargamer”. It’s pretty simple, but bear in mind it’s aimed at the miniatures game crowd. (I’m sure some clever wag will soon come up with a similar list for RPGs.) Have I ever…

* Spent at least £500 on figures / tanks – and you get extra kudos for every £500 you’ve spent

Oh sweet Gods yes.

* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block – several times

Pike block, no. Spearmen stand, yes. I’m going to give myself this one.

* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again

Actually not. I’ve got my comfort zone and I rarely stray too far from it.

* Bought an army off EBay

Yes.

* Sold an army on EBay

No; I can’t imagine anyone would actually want anything I painted.

* spent months painting an army – then used it in anger once

Umm… does “used it in anger never” count?

* tried several different periods and genres

Ayup. Napoleonics 15mm Ogre/GEV 6mm, medieval 15mm, renaissance naval 1/2400…

* dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height

I am sad to say yes. They fared well, however.

* lost a battle on the last throw of the dice

Yes, at this year’s DexCon. Damn you lord Percy!!!

* made at least one enemy for life

Well, yes. But I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be about gaming.

* had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table

Hehehehehehee… Oh yeah.

* thrown a dice across a room

No, I tend to take my frustrations out against walls and pillars with my fists.

* rebased an army for a different rule set

No, but I certainly foresee it happening.

* inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent

Oh, yeah. Ogre, anyone?

* suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision

Yes, when given the choice of having the table broad or narrow, I chose broad, despite having an overwhelming superiority in cannon. I paid the price for my lack of vision.

* joined a wargamers club

Yes, and eventually became treasurer of the Boston University Simulation Society. Since disbanded.

* bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted

You’ve been peeking in my office, haven’t you?

* been to a wargamers show

I assume this means a convention. Oh, Hel yeah.

* have more dice than is logical or necessary to own – and have used most of them

Yes. You buy them because you “need” them, then use them once, and realize that you prefer your old dice. I’ve got a pile of dice like this.

* have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates

I’m going to count the time I had people over to the house and showed off my 1/2400 renaissance ships, despite the fact that they’ve never actually been used in a game. I’m still looking for proper rules, honest.

Written by 

Wargamer and RPG'er since the 1970's, author of Adventures Dark and Deep, Castle of the Mad Archmage, and other things, and proprietor of the Greyhawk Grognard blog.

4 thoughts on “Am I A Proper Wargamer?

  1. That poundsign weakened an otherwise high value in dollars for me, haha!

    I think the saddest part of my wargaming experience is that despite how much my collection's varied, the only thing I've actually played any good measure of is freaking 40k.

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